You know what's great?

this skull font from skulladay

download it!

Heredity

Good lord we are lame...

The fame just keeps coming...

I'm in the latest issue of Snakepit

In the bonus comic in the back. One panel

I'm strangely honored. Thanks, Ben!

Life Goals

Totally achievable things I want to do before I die:

1. Appear as a zombie in a big-budget zombie movie
   
   
2. Perform in a sketch/improv show in which less than 50% of the crowd are friends and relatives
   
   
3. Punch a dolphin
   
   
4. Befriend someone with a large boat, so that I may venture deep into Lake Michigan
   
   
5. Bike/drive by someone hailing a cab, high-five their outstretched hand, shout "Yeah!", give them the thumbs up, and keep going.

Independence Day in Logan Square

Ahhhh, the sounds of summer.

This was what my neighborhood sounded like from about 9:00pm--12:00am on July Fourth. It was pretty amazing. Who needs downtown?


P.S. If you hear me say "Up yours, Osama," well, that is an homage to the great American patriot, Paul Micou Jr.

Fun games to play with your baby

1. Drool Dodge
Teaches: head/neck control, balance

Hold baby directly over your head, arms fully extended, so that their body is parallel with the floor. Look at them and make silly faces. Watch as thick bubbles of drool gather on their lips and/or chin. As the rivulets become too big and gravity takes over, try to avoid being hit in the face by only moving your head, not your arms (Shaken Baby Syndrome is frowned upon in our culture). Wear and old shirt.

Winner: The dry cleaners

2. Baby Tommy Lee
Teaches: gross motor skills, parent/child bonding

Place baby in your lap, so that she is on her back and facing you. Hold her hands with yours. Play your favorite metal and punk music loudly on the stereo. Try your best to follow the drum beat with her hands, so that he/she is "playing" air drums. (Current fave: The Saddest Day by Converge) Not only is this a bonding experience and teaches hand-eye coordination, it also is probably the only time you will get to listen to the music you want at the volume you want, even though you're a grown-ass man, dammit.

Winner: Certainly not your wife. That crap gives her a headache.

3. Sit on the Couch and Watch Daddy Drink
Teaches: The cold, harsh realities of life.

Mmmmm. Gin.

Winner:
VAS Foremost Liquors, your daughter's future therapist.

a bro-llet? a blingback?

I've been mulling this entry over for a while, not exactly sure how to approach it. You see, we live in some culturally sensitive times, which are conversely becoming more conscious of race and gender issues but also challenging the way races and genders traditionally talk about themselves. Two examples of this would be the recent firing of Don Imus and Russel Simmons' open letter to the hip hop community.

So i've been in a quandry--do I post this, or don't I? Will this be seen as a funny social commentary (as it's intended) or just some inarticulate white guy not understanding a different culture?

Ahh, screw it.

Hip hop is filled with some hard-ass men wearing braids. Cornrows, twists, beads, all different variations. And while that's all well and good, i can't help but think one thing every time I see a grown man with his hair twisted back behind his head:

You sir, are sporting a mullet.

Sorry, but you are. it's all there. Business in the front, party in the back. Which is perfect metaphor for today's hip hop artist: the dichotomy of business man/playa is a defining statement for most of today's rap. So in a lot of ways, ethos of the mullet fits perfectly in with what they're trying to sell.

And don't get me wrong. Mullets, while goofy, are one of the most badass haircuts you can get. Growing up in the South, dudes with mullets were not to be messed with. They are usually the first to throw down, and the first to break a bottle over someone's head. much like the rattlesnake's rattle is Nature's way of saying "don't touch," the mullet is the redneck's way of saying "I don't give a shit about fuck. You feeling froggy, motherfucker? Well let's see you hop!"

So after much thought and discussion with my friend Sean, i've come up with a name for this look. Black Mullet (blullet) wasn't doing it for me, nor was the Brollet. So to honor the original mullet-wielding, angry-as-hell rappers, NWA, i've come up with two: the Compton Waterfall and the Drepe (pronounced "drape"). I know, I know, Dr. Dre didn't have a mullet, only Ice Cube and Easy E. Well, he wasn't a real Doctor either, jackass. Oh, you disagree? You feelin' froggy?